6 Guidelines For a Good Marriage
moncler sale outlet 10 Years and CountingAmong my thirty something thebeastmark.com friends, I don’t know very many people who have been married ten years or longer. As my significant other and I buy moncler jackets toronto come up on our tenth anniversary, I’ve had several people ask about moncler coats outlet how we have Official Moncler Outlet stayed together.
I can moncler outlet ny say that I was afraid discount moncler outlet to cheap moncler jackets wholesale get married at first. I didn’t have a lot of solid examples of what a great marriage looked like in my life. Friends and family were getting divorced left and right or otherwise avoiding the whole idea and settling for co habitation.
I didn’t want to “settle,” though. I wanted that lifelong friendship. I had taken a college class that spelled out the statistics: co habitating couples tend to get divorced at higher rates after getting married. I loved my future husband too much to start off as a potential statistic. I also knew that if I got married, it was going to be “for real”.
cheap moncler outlet Luckily, my guy felt the same way, too.
cheap moncler My natural response to my fears? Research. (Little wonder that I love to write, no? I love doing research so yes, I researched marriage.)
I went out and found some of the best books that I could find on marriage advice. I poured over them and pondered and shared them with my significant other.
My favorite was called, The New Couple by Maurice Taylor and womens moncler jackets Seana McGee. It’s about how modern moncler coats for cheap marriage is different moncler coats for men than the marriages of yesteryear and fresh rules are in order to help make them more successful.
moncler outlet sale The rules included having “having mutual chemistry,” “not making assumptions,” and “deep listening”.
While we heeded the advice of this book, we invariably developed our own “guidelines,” so to speak. We began to think of rules as sort of harsh and unyielding. Relationships are very fluid always changing, always evolving. Thus, we adopted some guidelines to live by and strive to uphold this code.
cheap moncler moncler jackets for women coats moncler jackets canada Guideline 1: Know Your Significant Other’s PersonalityWhile we were still dating, we took moncler jackets men the time moncler jackets outlet online to understand each other’s personality. We both figured out that we were introverts. That was good for us because that meant we’d have no problem being “homebodies.”
moncler sale We also took time to understand that the other person would not change. That is, if one person liked something the other didn’t like as moncler jackets on sale much, we would talk about it and establish a guideline so it wouldn’t become a problem.
For example, he liked working on cars. I didn’t.
moncler mens jackets I liked to paint works of art. We decided that on days that we had nothing going on, I could work on my artwork and he could work on his cars. He didn’t have to change his ways, nor did I.
Guideline 2: Be On the Same Page With FinancesWe figured out that one person was more of a spender and the other was a saver. We discussed purchases, budgeting and spelled out our expectations of each other.
cheap moncler sale We agreed to always be up front about finances. moncler outlet kids When we first started out, we had separate bank accounts. For a few years this worked, but we revisited this when one or the other of us was unemployed at one time or another and figured out a joint account would work better.
But, it always came down to being up front and being cheap moncler jackets honest and being willing discount moncler jackets to change and evolve as our necessities dictated.
We also agreed that we would do a budget every month so that we would live within our means and help alleviate the stress of being in debt. moncler jackets cheap We are now working to eradicate all Discount Moncler Coats of our debt, including the mortgage.
buy moncler jackets This means we both forego fancy dinners out except for special occasions and don’t buy things we don’t need. Since we both have come to believe in this principle, the “spender” and moncler jackets outlet “saver” came together on a beautiful compromise.
moncler outlet online Guideline cheap moncler jackets outlet 3: Use Multi level CommunicationWhen we were dating moncler jackets kids and later got engaged, so many people said for us to “communicate.” What exactly did that mean, though? I mean, I had friends who would give each other the silent treatment when they were mad at each other. moncler outlet store Still, others seemed to “talk” all right, but really, nothing was said they’d talk about cheap moncler coats for women sports or what they were doing next week, moncler jacket outlet but not about the important things.
We realized that communication looks different at different times. At the end of every work day, we made a point of checking in and talking about what went on, as well as different philosophies, the news, or whatever was important. This became a ritual. While cooking dinner and maybe drinking a glass of wine, we began to look forward to our daily talks.
monlcer down jackets There have been times when we would invariably get into an argument. Some were worse than others. But we had made a pact before we got married that we would work to talk about our moncler coats cheap feelings. Now, this didn’t mean that when we were angry or disappointed that we would have to talk in that instant. In fact, that meant that we would take some time to cool off even if a day or two would go by. That’s okay. In the meantime, moncler jacket online we still would treat each other with dignity and as a friend. Then we’d moncler jackets toronto come together to moncler outlet usa talk about our feelings after the heat of anger dissipated. This moncler outlets usa way, we’ve been able to avoid saying hurtful things to each other in the “heat of anger.”
Guideline 4: Use “I” StatementsHave cheap moncler you ever noticed that when moncler outlet location you approach someone in anger and say something like, “You are always leaving your stuff laying around all over the place!” the other person gets defensive? They immediately fire back some response moncler chicago in an effort to recoup some of that hurt ego.
moncler outlet This is a really good way to start an argument. Conversely, using “I” statements are a really good way to avoid arguments.
cheap moncler jackets Thus, whenever we are expressing our feelings, we try to start with the word “I”. For example, if I don’t moncler coats like the way he’s driving, I’ll say something like, “I get scared when you drive like that,” instead of “You’re driving like a maniac!” That way, I bear the burden of how I feel (which I should) and the other person doesn’t have to get defensive.
This works with positive statements, too. “I just love it when moncler jackets mens you clean the kitchen for me,” as opposed to “you never clean the kitchen when I want you to.” In this way, you show appreciation for your significant other while expressing something you’d like to see get done.
Guideline 5: Compliment Each OtherYou’re marrying moncler outlet canada your best friend, right? Best friends find reasons to compliment each other, no matter how long they’ve been married. I still take the time to tell my husband that https://www.thebeastmark.com he looks great when he dresses up. We try to remember to say “thank you” and appreciate when one of us does something around the house.
My husband often gets up to make breakfast for the both of us. It’s easy to assume that he’ll always do this because it’s become a habit. However, it’s important to remember that he doesn’t have to do anything moncler outlet online store like that. He chooses to, and I express my appreciation.
Each day, I moncler outlet mall try to find at least one thing to compliment my significant other about, and he moncler outlet woodbury does the same for me.
moncler outlet store Guideline 6: Use TeamworkIt takes two to tango, and it takes two to make a moncler outlet marriage. There will always be some give and take.